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Canada’s Top-Secret Plan to Annex the United States
“We’ve tolerated Reaganomics, aerosol cheese, and hockey in Arizona, but the second Trump administration is the last paper straw.” -
Short Imagined Monologues
I’m Chunk’s Mother, and No, He Did Not Consult Me Before Telling Sloth He Could Live with Us
“I’ve learned to accept the fact that my son wants to be a ‘Goonie.’ But this? THIS? Nothing in Dr. Spock’s many voluminous books could have prepared me for housing a nearly seven-foot-tall, three-hundred-pound slop-eating human wrecking ball known only as ‘Sloth.’” -
Introducing the Willy-Nilly System of Governance
“We’re doing just whatever we feel like with no foresight, illustrating one of the Willy-Nilly System’s central tenets: There are no wrong answers because we should not assess any of our decisions before implementing them.” -
“He’s Just Trolling Us,” I Say as I Pay Two Hundred Dollars for Eggs and Our Town Gets Measles for the Second Year in a Row
“The mainstream media takes him too seriously. The truth is, it’s all a big overreaction to some good old-fashioned gags.” -
Let’s Save Western Civilization by Being Cruel Motherfuckers
“Fending off starvation in Ethiopia and providing clean water in Colombia was completely crippling Western civilization, taking away precious funds we should be using to buy crypto.”
Trending
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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February 27, 2025Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations
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February 26, 2025An Updated Guide to Generations
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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March 7, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Stuff I’ve Been Reading: Winter 2024
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March 5, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Dong Li
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 20, 2025Mac Barnett Has Been Named 2025-26 National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature
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February 19, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Matthew Zapruder
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February 14, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Joy of Persona
News & Announcements
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Recent Posts
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 10, 2025Kirkus Reviews of Trump’s Second Term
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March 10, 2025Trump’s Tariffs: An Explainer
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March 7, 2025Happy National Women’s Day from the White House
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March 7, 2025Make America Suck Again
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